Forgiving The Primitive Ego of Our Inner-Child

The primitive ego of our inner-child is the unconscious psyche of childhood stuck or frozen by shame in the trauma and wounds of childhood. When we have adult life experiences that are similar to the pain we experienced in childhood (for example, not being listened to) we often regress back into our primitive ego and experience, once again, the painful childhood emotions. Because the emotions of childhood tend to be VERY LARGE, it's not uncommon for us to overreact to the adult situation that triggered the regression. I call this a "knee jerk" in my upcoming book. When this happens, we often feel embarrassed and ashamed of our behaviors.

We may have created a "nice person" false self (mask) to hide the childhood feelings (our shadow material) but like ping pong balls being held under water, they pop to the surface when we least expect them. Not only do we blame ourselves for the original trauma (people ignoring us), now we blame ourselves for all the times we have shamed ourselves as adults when the LARGE emotions of childhood unconsciously "knee jerked" or "popped" to the surface. This happens because we are unconsciously attempting to externalize the shame we feel inside. As humans, we tend to create in the outer world what we are unconsciously feeling in the inner world.

When we love ourselves enough to forgive ourselves we will have the energy to begin healing the wounds that we have been carrying.....to take the energy out of the ping pong balls. We didn't create the wounds of childhood.....our caregivers did. All we were trying to do back then was survive......to bury the shame we felt when we thought we were not lovable (if we were, people WOULD have listened to us). Then we went to work creating a false self (mask) so we could hide our flawed real self. That way we could pretend to be the person we thought our caregivers would be able to love. Over time, we began to believe that our false self, our mask, was the "real me". Hiding our true self behind the false self mask we created in childhood, it's no wonder our sense of "who we are" so often feels cut off, lonely, and isolated.....our true self is!

When we learn to embrace our inner-child we find that forgiving the child inside is very easy. When we learn to embrace our own inner-child, we will find the capacity to forgive our parents who were struggling with their own wounded inner-child. We are all just human beings on an evolutionary journey toward compassion and enlightenment. Dick Rauscher (www.stonyhill.com)

Some basic thoughts on "inner-child" psychology

Here are a few thoughts on "inner-child" psychology before I go out and pick up trash here in the Rooster Rock State Park. We're volunteer hosts so part of our job here is getting the park ready for the weekend rush.

I am pulling my thoughts together on inner-child in preparation for the early chapters of the book I'm writing on Primitive Ego Psychology: Healing The Primitive Ego of Our Wounded Inner Child. I'm not sure that will be the final title, but it will be close.

Ok, got to run....here's what I'm working on today for the book.....

"When our basic developmental needs are not met in early childhood...eg. unconditional love, listening, affirmation...we assume there is something basically wrong with us. We personalize it and feel ashamed that we are not good enough. We hide our true self and create a false self...the self we think we "should" be. The result is our wounded inner-child experiences sadness, isolation and loneliness." (www.stonyhill.com)